Journal

Worthwhile

Posted on February 26th, 2005, in the small hours

It's pretty late, so this might come from left-field somewhat, but I've just come back from an excellent evening of Catan, now I'm by myself, it's the end of the day. This is the time I often used to lose myself the most; the comedown from a good evening, the facing up to just me again, but that's just not how it is these days.

I don't mean this in an easy-answer "since I became a Christian nothing goes wrong" manner - God knows that's not how I see or experience things - but there really is a richness to my experience of human existence; a kind of unforced depth, totally without hype. I'm not exerting effort to convince myself of these things, there is just a calm assurance that my life is worth something.

I'm not actually excited or buzzing with anything. There's no reason to feel like life has meaning, but it's there. In a totally un-bothered way I'm conscious of being part of where the whole universe is heading, everything summed up in Christ.

Maybe this is a thought that would have been better shared just between myself and God in my pen-and-paper journal. The translation of spiritual things into flat words is a haphazard thing at best. But I would love to be better at talking about these things. It's here now, and it's good.

Goodnight all!